foozle vt foo-zled; foo-zling (1892): to manage or play awkwardly; a bungling golf stroke

Friday, June 29, 2007

The Guy Who Wet Himself On The Golf Course

You can't make this up, really. I went out by myself for a very late-season round of golf (early December in Minnesota, no less) and found myself hot on the heels of the group in front of me within a couple of holes. Upon catching up with them, they offered me a spot in their threesome and I agreed, thinking with this kind of cool temperature I didn't want to be out there any longer than I had to be. I noticed upon joining them, however, that one of the members of their party (we'll call him "Larry") was awkwardly shy about shaking my hand. Thinking he was possibly a recluse, I didn't press the matter and went about the process of "playing in" with these strangers. About a hole or so later I noticed that Larry seemed shy about even facing me, to the point where he seemed to turn his back every time I approached him. It was getting weird, I thought, and couldn't wait for the round to be over. At the 16th tee, however, I found myself to the right of the tee box when Larry approached to peg his ball. And lo and behold, there between his legs was the most obvious of wet spots, the kind that only comes from wetting oneself. Stunned, I played the last 3 holes in a daze and drove home silently wondering what would possess a man to wet himself in mid-December on a soon-to-be-closed golf course and not excuse himself for the remainder of the round?

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